21st Century Parenting

child family family systems engineering approach parenting Apr 26, 2021
image credit: https://www.vox.com/2015/8/11/9127769/parenting-advice-worthless

21st century parenting – Praise Fowowe

Parenting is one of the most important concepts on earth and it is one of the greatest needs of our world because every global crisis today points at the absence of real parents.

Often times we see people misbehave in the society or leaders who lie on TV, but we fail to ask the question ‘who are the parents?’. Kids naturally take up the nature and character of their parents except there is an intervention and that is why I often talk about the purity of a father’s breath which ultimately forms the character of a child.

If I pray for you now saying 'may your child become your secret life', would you be comfortable saying 'amen'?. Unfortunately, the real you that is hidden from the majority is what your child would take after except there is an intervention.

Our world has become a sexualized one and tending towards a homosexualized one because parents have lost what it means to be proper parents. As a matter of fact, I have met more parental illiterates than I thought existed.

I have interfaced with over 10,000 men and women this year alone and it is shocking that I am yet to meet any that has intentionally studied the words ‘man, woman, husband, wife & parent’.

I discovered that people have subjected their lives to cultural lies which have not helped anyone and have destroyed more lives than built.

Let me quickly ask you a few questions that you may never have brought yourself to answer before now:

  • Why did you marry?
  • Why did you marry your spouse?
  • Are you truly happy or are you just patching things up?
  • What is the purpose of marriage?
  • Why did you give birth to a child?
  • Did you intentionally prepare yourself for parenting by reading books?
  • Who is a child to you?

When the truth about a concept is not discovered, people would subject their lives to lies and mess up children. I used to get excited when a child was born but my approach has changed because many people who give birth are never prepared on the concept of raising a child thereby leaving the child at the mercy of society.

The whole nation is afraid of a certain Shekau in Nigeria but the questions we should ask are ‘who gave birth to him?’ and 'what level of upbringing did he have?'

Becoming a proper parent and spouse starts with becoming a proper child yourself.  

Parenting has got nothing to do with the ability to conceive or the ability to donate semen; it is everything about taking the responsibility for raising a solution that God has sent into our world and ensuring that the solution solves the global problem he/she was created to solve.

What that means is that it is a privilege to be a parent but that privilege must be backed by proper knowledge lest we turn a human BEING into a human VICTIM.

The tragedy of parenting is having parents who have never been well raised themselves because parenting is nothing but grooming or role-modeling and It is impossible to give to your child who you are not. Unfortunately, not so many of us have passed the test of CHARACTER

There is no uniform manual or curriculum that people are mandated to go through before becoming parents  and in the absence of that, we have raised loads of parental illiterates who were also marital illiterates

Every problem in the world at the moment can be traced to the problem of parenting because kids were not properly brought up. In fact what we call divorce is nothing but a parenting problem or what they call in my village improper home training because If the 2 actors in marriage were properly brought up and supported by a healthy family system, divorce wouldn’t be an option

No properly brought up man beats a woman in the name of anger and no properly brought up lady cheats on her man. Kids who are properly brought up are willing to talk through situations and reconcile issues so you don’t hear 'irreconciliable difference'.

What masquerades itself as bad leadership and corruption across Africa today is nothing but poor parenting. Thieves don’t just emerge because they were not born, they were made and there is a process to the making of a thief.

Parenting is a conditioning process and there is a level of conditioning you can subject a child to that he would not depart from. Although, the danger with this is when the person conditioning the child is not taking a cue from the child’s natural signal so you can condition a child wrongly if you have not been schooled in the art of Talent scouting, Development and Management

And that brings me to the questions 'who is a child to you?' and 'how have you been raising your child?'

It is shocking that loads of parents can’t even properly define a child and that is why we impose instead of unearthing the originality of a child.

  • Do you see a disguised king in your child who should be nurtured or what you see is a little boy who runs around?
  • Do you see a solution provider whose potentials must be cultivated or what you see is a problem that messes up your house?
  • Do you see a decision-maker who must be properly groomed to make sane policies in the future or you just see a noisemaker?
  • Do you see a pilgrim on a mission who must be led with the fear of God or all you can see is a cry baby?
  • Once your definition of a child is wrong, the handling of that child would be totally wrong as well because your perception is already compromised

How do you see yourself as a parent as it has to do with your child?

  • Do you see yourself as a coach who must get the best out of a child or a task master who must beat a child to submission?
  • Do you see yourself as a scout who is able to spot the genius in your child or you can only see a school-fees paying machine?
  • Do you see yourself as a guard who must protect the best interest of your child or all you can see is a baby mama?
  • Do you see yourself as a mentor who must lead with your life first or what you see is simply see if someone who has produced a successor?

I once researched most of the top global pop and rap artistes and saw the absence of a proper father - most were raised by their mothers. I think the greatest damage done to the human race is the absence of real fathers because if fathers get it right, the mothers and the kids would shape up. So what kind of father are you?

The ultimate parent is God and this is clearly modelled in the Lord’s Prayer for every discerning parent. 

1. It starts with Our Father which simply means our source. Can your kids look up to you as a source of inspiration?

What kind of source are you as a parent? Are you a parent of responsibility or you are simply a sperm donor?

2. Who art in heaven talks about his domain or location – can your children properly decipher your location per time?

Are you the woman whose location can not be trusted or you are the man whose boardroom meeting is under a duvet with a babe?

3. Thy Kingdom come – What dominion do you enjoy as a parent? Is your vocal authority at par with your moral authority?

What kind of influence do you have and what kind of reputation do you have among your colleagues?

Are you God-driven or bottle driven or Aso Ebi or Party driven? What manner of parent are you really?

4. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven – Talks about your purpose because 'will' is the same as the reason for your existence

What is your purpose as a man/woman? When purpose is not understood, abnormal use is inevitable. 

Can you properly explain to your child what your purpose is as a man/woman, husband/wife and a father/mother without stammering?

Are you living out your purpose or you are living someone else’s life? How proud are you of yourself?

5. Give us this day our daily bread – Can your kids look up to you as a provider or you are the type that shouts & picks a fight when you can’t provide. I know there are times business may not be good but how you communicate the challenge speaks volumes about your character.

Daily bread also talks about fresh ideas. Can your kids trust you to help out with their homework? Can they trust your teachings or can your kids serve your God and do they even know the values you stand for?

6. And forgive us our trespasses – Do you forgive easily or are you someone who keeps malice at all times? Do you keep reminding a child of their past mistakes? Are you secure enough to forgive those that have offended you or you keep reporting your hubby to your kids?

7. And lead us not into temptation – How many times have we led our kids into temptation by our absence and irresponsibility? Where were you when the housemaid was molesting your boy and when the house boy was sodomizing your boy and messing up your girls?

What were you doing when your boy became gay in your absence and you never discovered what had gone wrong?

8. And deliver us from evil – How protective are you as a custodian of a child’s protection policy?

How many times have you taken your child on a walk to teach what is right and why it is right?

How well have you modelled what is right for your child such that your life is an inspiration to that child? What have you taught your child about his sexuality and how to stand out in the midst of error?

I think the fall of the family system is the fall of parenting and until true parents are restored, the home would never be restored. Our nation is crying out for true men and women of character at the moment so what manner of man are you? Are you a man of CHARACTER or you are a SPIDER-MAN?

We all need to rediscover ourselves as individuals and rise to build God’s kind of family so that we can raise children that would speak with the enemies at the gate as against speaking for the enemies against us at the gate.

God bless us all.



[email protected]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Cras sed sapien quam. Sed dapibus est id enim facilisis, at posuere turpis adipiscing. Quisque sit amet dui dui.

Call To Action

Stay connected with news and updates!

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.