IS YOUR PARTNER A BOSSY DON - 2

What does it feel like to be married to a man whose destination you are not sure of, but you just have to follow because he is not only your husband but also a boss? What does it feel like to be married to a woman who is your boss because she calls the shots and you have learnt to dance to her tunes so that you don’t rock the boat?

Many couples play the Bossy Don Formation and here, one person becomes a martyr in the relationship and suffers severe pain including physical and emotional abuse just to make the relationship work. The children are not exempted because the Bossy Don sends everyone into their shell. As a matter of fact, the don becomes the lion of the tribe of his/her home.

You might want to find out why people fall into this formation; It could be as a result of, but not limited to

• Age disparity (when you marry a partner that feels he/she is made or you are generations apart),
• The spoilt brat syndrome (wealthy upbringing or ‘money miss road’),
• The ‘Ancestor’ with a subjective tendency/mentality,
• The religious camouflage,
• Pregnancy bait, pity-party syndrome (marriage out of pity) and
• Geed buddy (I must marry someone very rich).

May I warn ladies who are trying to lure a man into marriage with pregnancy that you could be in for a Bossy Don relationship because the guy could turn back to say you trapped him with the pregnancy and please let me say that it is not safe to get into any relationship when you are not bringing anything to the table because you would be negotiating per time from a position of weakness.

You must however realize that you have it in you to turn a bossy don relationship around especially if you are already married. Don’t give up on your marriage(except when your life/sanity is at stake) because the wisdom you need is available here and that wisdom will make your face shine and indispensable to the Don.

To be continued.

I honour you.