FAMILY LIFE TODAY with PF
ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE - 3
Until there is a clear purpose for getting married that requires the rest of your life to achieve as a team, every marital challenge provides an opportunity to press the exit button. If the reward for staying married for 40years is that the whole of China would be handed over to you as your property what will you do differently?
Why did you marry your spouse or what do you want to marry?
Unfortunately people's reasons are mostly selfish. While that may not be a problem to them it becomes evident that they married the other person for themselves based on their preconceived notion of the role they figured out the person should perform in their lives without seeking to discover what's most important to this person and seek to find a way to help him/her achieve it.
The idea that someone's dream must be sacrificed for the other person's dream to be fully realized is one of the major causes of depression globally but it masks itself as stress. How does a man seek to remodel a trained pilot out, who loves to fly, into a "plane" that's permanently stuck in the tarmac of his kitchen in the name of home builder. How does a woman with a brain and intelligence untapped places herself on the welfare list of the family simply because she believes someone else is in marriage to take responsibility for her entire needs?
Any reason for getting married which doesn't include the quest to give flight to the wings of your spouse's dream will eventually produce an accidental spouse whose true essence has been compromised and rebuilt into the image of cultural expectations.
Imagine a Ferrari engine trapped in the body of a 1985 Volkswagen beetle and being driven by a learner who has refused to submit to the intelligence and discipline of a mentor?
Of course your guess is as good as mine.
- Why did you marry?
- Is your "engine functioning maximally?
- Is your chauffeur competent or learning on the job?
I'd share 10 of the 25 tips I know on how to spot an accidental spouse and how you must avoid them or what you must do to turn things around.
Do you understand your role description as a spouse and how well are you prepared for that role?
I honour you