If it's not broken, don't fix it
Jul 22, 2021
In my work across various cultures, I have seen all sorts, and instead of fighting what I see that contradicts my worldview, I have learnt to study and better understand things.
For example, when you are 2-dimensional in your worldview, you would see nothing but right and wrong, black and white and up and down. But once you move up a bit into 6-dimension, you start to see shades that don't fit into the norm or known realm, and if you study it, you may start to learn new things.
I once worked with couples in a culture where women are the husbands and men are the wives, and they were happy. The man was okay to move into the woman's home with her being the breadwinner. While that contradicted my worldview, I couldn't but notice how happy they were and how they never saw any issue in what they were doing.
I couldn't have gone in there to start to tell them they were wrong because that would mean upsetting their balance. If they weren't experiencing violence or divorce, why fight what they haven't complained about?
I'm sharing this because I see all sorts on social media where people expect everyone to fit into their known reality.
For example, a woman posted a picture of her kneeling for her man. Then someone bashed her and claimed she would never do that, and women who do such are promoting slavery.
I couldn't but wonder how what an adult chose to do was her business as long as it served her.
Kneeling for a spouse serves some people, and there is nothing wrong with it. If it doesn't serve you, there is nothing wrong with you either
Some men believe they are superior to women and some women believe the same while some believe otherwise, and they are also correct
As long as a couple is in agreement in their worldview and their beliefs are compatible, they are fine. It is called being equally yoked.
Our world would become so beautiful when we enjoy the diversities of life and start to study concepts that are working for others yet contradict our known reality.
Growing up, I was taught that when two people from different religions get married, the marriage would struggle. But as I travelled across different cultures and worked with various marriages, I started to see shades that contradicted that belief because I saw how happy couples from different religious backgrounds were.
I couldn't but sit with several of them whose marriages already crossed 30 years to interview them and what I discovered has since helped me work better with couples in that category.
My life as a family life strategist has shaken me in many ways and while my fundamentals have remained intact, I have learnt to study contrary realities from the standpoint of curiosity to test their results. This has helped me to become effective in becoming all things to all men to be able to assist many.
It is not your job to judge what is working for someone else in their marriage that isn't working for you.
If it's not broken, don't seek to fix it.