The Death of SHAME

faith Sep 24, 2020

One of my favorite sessions in group coaching and therapy is the tree of life system. 
This is one activity that promotes our humanity and helps us see ourselves the way we are. It is an activity that makes you draw your entire life as a tree showing 
your root - background, 
your right trunk- the good memories, 
Your left trunk - Your bad memories 
Your branches - hopes and aspirations 
Your fruits - Gifts and talents 
Your leaves - People in your life that inspire you 
Tree insects - Secrets and habits that can take you down

The most vital aspect of the exercise is when you have to exchange your tree with a partner and share without shame your entire life history.

In the last one year i have seen people destroy shame by freely sharing their pains and dirty sides that no one knows. I have seen people experience liberation by simply knowing that there is not one of us without a dark patch. I have boldly share my errors and mistakes and foolishness with the people and what a liberating experience this has been for many.

The final aspect of the exercise is when we all stick our trees beside each others to make it look like a forest and we see the beauty that evolve when we place our mess side by side and observe how impossible it is for the lion to take us out when we are together. The person who gets killed by the lion is that person who seeks to stray from the group and do things alone.

The question i have for you today is are you suffering alone thinking you are the only one with a mess? or do you think your mess is the biggest mess in history and you are doing everything to keep it away from the public.

To fool ourselves is to die while alive and to pretend as if we have no faults is to fool people and place a false standard before them. I have learnt that the strongest of all men struggle but what you do with it is what matters?

You have a choice to let it define you and continue living in your faults under the guise of 'It is my weakness' or step out and get help and use the help you get to help others.

The only way to kill shame is to confront shame and enjoy the beauty of brotherhood in nursing you back to life.

I honour you

Your brother 



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