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Let me tell you a story - My favorite Valentine & how it SHAPED ME

I left paid employment in the year 2003 to go and concentrate on how to build a family life practice but my first task was to toast commercial sex workers out of prostitution at Good evening street Ajegunle as well as set up Gold in the Slum which because the hub that developed several young people in that area of Lagos. 

It was Valentine's day 2005 and I just came up with this weird feeling of spending Val with commercial sex workers(I called them my sisters trapped behind the bars of prostitution). 

I called my team together and we got gifts while those that could bake cakes and small chops did. In all it was less than 10k but our heart of love was worth a billion dollars. We sent letters to media houses to come and witness the first ever Valentine with prostitutes. My deputy 

Christopher Olukoju

took the letters around and dropped one at Channels TV. Before he got to the office a certain Joseph Esenwa had called to inform us they would like to be a part of...

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Re-Thinking the Family Life Sector

In my entire years of practice I have carefully observed this most important yet unstructured sector that actually holds the key to the peace that our world seeks. 

I have taken a number of courses and seen results across the difference schools of thoughts that make up the family life sphere across a number of countries. 

One thing we have all failed to acknowledge is the fact that none of us can truly do all the work and the other truth we all run away from is that there is no single template that can resolve the several complex issues that families face. 

As a matter of fact no template can boast of 100% success rate which brings me to the almighty question:

Why do Family Life Practitioners across the globe find it difficult to work together since we all want to solve the same problem and why do we fail to admit the limitations of our school of thought? 

Those from the academia have done so well with research but with new research and counter research there is...

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2 #ALIGN YOUR BELIEFS

Do not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever is an instruction from Paul of Tarsus that holds through even till now. The challenge however is the over complication of the simple English word ‘UNBELIEVER’ 

An unbeliever is simply someone who doesn’t believe your beliefs and it doesn’t make the person a bad person because there is a group somewhere else who share their beliefs and they are believers to those group. Sometimes however the problem is in the way many of us were raised and the beliefs that our handlers imposed on us which we never bothered to troubleshoot. 

 

Beliefs incompatibility more than anything has snuffed life out of many relationships because they went in without aligning several of these beliefs. Couples leave two many critical areas undiscussed in marriage yet they consistently experience ‘culture clash’ with their originating nations(families) consistently going to war. 

 

Our beliefs is not...

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5 tips to enjoying your spouse

There are several tips available and while I applaud many of them my 19years of working with troubled relationships has helped me figure out the greatest tips couples need to pay attention to.

 

  1. Hack into your spouse - Too many couples never ever maximize their spouse simply because they are too fixated on what they think they want rather than seek to unravel the amazing benefits packaged in their factory fitted spouse. 

There is a lot more to your spouse than you have ever enjoyed. Often times your spouse is not even aware.

For example I ran a class at a couple's retreat in New York City a few years ago and it became apparent that not a single couple had explored or discussed their fantasies.

The moment I asked them to discuss it it was a light bulb moment for folks who have slept in the same room for 20years.

 

You know why they never discussed it? There was a program installed by religious taboos on their brain that made each person wallowed in self condemnation...

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We have been here before....

faith Sep 23, 2020

Dateline: August 1986 in Ijebu Imushin I was an Anglican boy and one of the most brilliant drummers in church. All we knew was worship through hymns and we thoroughly enjoyed it.
Your church was a big church if you had the luxury of drums set and a pipe organ but if you are able to add the Casio keyboard then you were truly big because it was just coming into the mainstream.
My father was the Archdeacon of the Ijebu East archdeaconry and one of the most respected priests in the diocese.

We had boys brigade that kept us busy and you were well respected in your brigade uniform infact if you were the mace bearer you were huge and so many babes and guys were left drooling for you.


Guess what?


We never missed anything and we never knew there was another life. As a matter of fact we could brag we were at the top of civilization and we considered churches like Cele and co as not as civilized as we were. Somehow our siblings started going to higher institutions while we got into secondary...

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On Course creation & Selling

I know there are many voices out there asking everyone to go and create their courses. While this is good the truth however is not everyone will create their own course however everyone can sell courses with proven results.

I recently interviewed some top earners and was shocked to find out that they earned a lot selling courses created by other people.

When Covid started I started teaching my tribe on the 4 different levels that will exist post covid and where they must position.


1. Unique content providers - These are folks who can research and create original content. Not many people can function here because it takes a lot to create courses that truly work.
This is where my strength is as you must have noticed how I created original content daily in 140 days before my health instructed me to stop. Research is my life and finding what truly works but I have discovered that not many can put in the shift. You don't have to beat yourself if you can't feature here as there are other...

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Rebuilding a continent from the Family

Often times we all complain about what we see across the continent of Africa and that makes you wonder if our leaders were imported from another continent to punish us for a sin our fore fathers committed.
We all scream and shout on social media yet do nothing afterwards.
Sermons upon sermons have been preached on the need for us to be more righteous but corruption has become a culture across the continent of Africa.
Policies upon policies have been formulated and countless of committees have been sitting since i was born and have come up with vision 2000, 2010, 2020 and 2030. Unfortunately several billions were spent on some of these ‘HYPE’ and those years came by and we never held anyone accountable or ask questions.
How did we get to the state where leadership can’t be questioned across board? A people give funds to a system weekly yet feel unqualified to ask for the audited account of the same organization. How did we get to this level where the life of the big man...

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SHOULD FAMILY MEMBERS LIVE WITH A COUPLE?

Tade got married to Tokunbo in the year 1995 and being the first born of his family his siblings always lived with him but because he was ready to settle down he had to move out of the family house to rent his own apartment.
He got a lovely place in Onikan area of the west African city of Lagos, Nigeria and was 3months into a lovely marriage when Yemi his first cousin showed up unannounced in front of his house with her luggage claiming her father sent her parking.
Tade was partly trained by her father Uncle Jones and knew how much of pain she had been to the family but he was so fond of her being his favorite and felt a sense of responsibility towards her. His wife didn’t like the idea but because he was bent on helping Yemi they allowed her in.
The moment Yemi came in peace eluded Tade’s marriage as Yemi was always at loggerheads with Tokunbo. She would not raise a finger to assist and would sometimes insult her because according to her ‘I am in my brother’s...

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SHOULD A WOMAN BE A BREADWINNER

Mr. Khumalo had become tired of his marriage because he felt his wife no longer respects him. She had always been a serial entrepreneur but he never really allowed her work because he was working with a reputable bank in Pretoria. He went to work while he insisted she stayed at home to take care of the children which did not go down well with her but had to obey him just to keep her marriage. But even while at home her restless spirit managed to set up an online shop and she built a delivery system that required someone else to do the leg work for her and started earning funds that her husband was not aware of.
Interestingly, he had bought a number of items on his wife’s online shop without knowing she was the owner of the shop and had bragged about the efficiency of the owners of that online shop to his wife.
Somehow he lost his job in the summer of 2014 and things went bad for him financially. All his efforts to provide proved abortive and that was when he sat to have a talk...

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