Tip 1: HUMANITY CHECK – I have met loads of highly religious people but I am not sure I have interfaced with too many human beings whose humanity is still intact and hasn’t been tampered with in the last few years and that includes me.

Sadly, we have taught people over time that they need to change religion for them to be sane but what we have failed to do is to examine the damage that has been done to their humanity and find a way to get it restored.

- Why would a human being look at another being and feel superior to that being on the basis of gender, race or religion?

- Why would an adult perpetually find it difficult to take a decision unless he gets approval from another adult?

- Why would a husband hit his wife simply because she doesn’t agree with him & attribute it to the devil?

- Why would someone talk down others or talk to people anyhow because he/she feels He/she has authority over them?


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I invested 6hours with a group of top executives in a particular sector 2days ago  and it was fun sharing all I have learnt over the years with these amazing people but it also brought to the fore the fact that loads of people are faking things when marriage actually died a long time ago.  One thing that stood out for all of them was how nobody actually asked them why they wanted to marry? It just felt natural to do once they got a job only to get in and see the gaps created by the questions they never asked/.  

How does a man marry a woman & stifle her growth or forbid her from fully expressing her potentials because of his own insecurity that masks itself as care for the family? A lot of women are depressed at the moment simply because their flights have been compromised by men who seek to clip their wings yet society have counseled that they set up a ‘war room’ as if that room is a magical...

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Are you a ferrari trapped in the body of a Mazda?



Until there is a clear purpose for getting married that requires the rest of your life to achieve as a team, every marital challenge provides an opportunity to press the exit button. If the reward for staying married for 40years is that the whole of China would be handed over to you as your property what will you do differently?

Why did you marry your spouse or what do you want to marry?

Unfortunately people's reasons are mostly selfish. While that may not be a problem to them it becomes evident that they married the other person for themselves based on their preconceived notion of the role they figured out the person should perform in their lives without seeking to discover what's most important to this person and seek to find a way to help him/her achieve it.

The idea that someone's dream must be sacrificed for the other person's dream to be fully realized is one of the major causes of depression globally but it masks itself as...

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In 18years of working with troubled relationships I have heard all sorts in counseling room that makes it easy to decipher why couples struggle about what should have been avoided.

Often times we have presented marriage as the ultimate state of life thereby putting unnecessary pressure on singles who have been badly engineered. How well can someone with an abusive past sustain a marriage when that abuse has not been well handled?

I can tell you for free that 9 out of every 10 couple I have worked with have never been able to satisfactorily answer the question "Why did you marry" and most of my clients never have a marital vision when they show up for their sessions.

I have heard some men tell me they married because they have always longed for someone to take care of the home front. You already know that man never needed a wife; what he wanted was a house keeper.

Another told me he married because he...

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Chuks graduated from a prestigious University and it wasn't a problem getting his dream job after all his dad was well connected. He grew up with a retinue of house helps who were always there to serve him and even now that he has rented his apartment he has 3 domestic helps. He hadn't been lucky with relationships however because of his bad temper but his mum is on his neck to get married and produce a grandchild for her. The young man is under serious pressure but not even his mum is aware that he is an accidental spouse in waiting.

Yemisi on the other hand suddenly woke up at 33 and felt her biological clock was ticking and decided to marry Emma one of the nation's finest musicians who has a history of baby mamas but has been counselled by his mentor to get married to curb his uncontrollable sexual desires.

They both met on set during a movie award where Yemisi coasted home 5 awards having become the hottest actress and always on the front pages of every fashion...

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Once upon a time Israel had a freedom fighter called Moses who created what is now known in corporate circles as the principle of delegation as well as showing humanity the possibility of walking through the ocean by parting the red sea from where the invention of bridges was taken.


But there was something instructive about Moses that was lost on many which was chronicled by King David in his poems. He wrote ‘Moses knew the way of God and the children of Israel His Acts’ therein lies the greatest secrets of breakthroughs because those that understand the ways will consistently produce the acts.

If you want to know the true secrets of a man go to his ‘BACK END’ and not the’FRONT END’ because every champion you see had a back end life that is not visible to many. So, while many get excited at their results and pray to God to replicate such they have not paid attention...

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Re-Thinking the Family Life Sector

In my entire years of practice I have carefully observed this most important yet unstructured sector that actually holds the key to the peace that our world seeks. 

I have taken a number of courses and seen results across the difference schools of thoughts that make up the family life sphere across a number of countries. 

One thing we have all failed to acknowledge is the fact that none of us can truly do all the work and the other truth we all run away from is that there is no single template that can resolve the several complex issues that families face. 

As a matter of fact no template can boast of 100% success rate which brings me to the almighty question:

Why do Family Life Practitioners across the globe find it difficult to work together since we all want to solve the same problem and why do we fail to admit the limitations of our school of thought? 

Those from the academia have done so well with research but with new research and counter research there is...

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Do not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever is an instruction from Paul of Tarsus that holds through even till now. The challenge however is the over complication of the simple English word ‘UNBELIEVER’ 

An unbeliever is simply someone who doesn’t believe your beliefs and it doesn’t make the person a bad person because there is a group somewhere else who share their beliefs and they are believers to those group. Sometimes however the problem is in the way many of us were raised and the beliefs that our handlers imposed on us which we never bothered to troubleshoot. 


Beliefs incompatibility more than anything has snuffed life out of many relationships because they went in without aligning several of these beliefs. Couples leave two many critical areas undiscussed in marriage yet they consistently experience ‘culture clash’ with their originating nations(families) consistently going to war. 


Our beliefs is not...

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5 tips to enjoying your spouse

There are several tips available and while I applaud many of them my 19years of working with troubled relationships has helped me figure out the greatest tips couples need to pay attention to.


  1. Hack into your spouse - Too many couples never ever maximize their spouse simply because they are too fixated on what they think they want rather than seek to unravel the amazing benefits packaged in their factory fitted spouse. 

There is a lot more to your spouse than you have ever enjoyed. Often times your spouse is not even aware.

For example I ran a class at a couple's retreat in New York City a few years ago and it became apparent that not a single couple had explored or discussed their fantasies.

The moment I asked them to discuss it it was a light bulb moment for folks who have slept in the same room for 20years.


You know why they never discussed it? There was a program installed by religious taboos on their brain that made each person wallowed in self condemnation...

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