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ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 20– YOUR TREE CAN’T MAKE A FOREST

FAMILY LIFE TODAY with PF

 ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 20– YOUR TREE CAN’T MAKE A FOREST

A man told me that he is only accountable to God and I laughed because if God never wanted him to be accountable to any other human he wouldn’t have been born by human beings; wouldn’t have learnt ABC from anyone and God would have everything he needs  dropped directly from heaven. It is amazing how many of us lie to ourselves to escape reality. I still repeat today that anyone  without any authority figure like a mentor over his life is on his way to becoming a beast.

 We all need someone to call us to order and we can’t survive without such. As a matter of fact a Jewish Proverb says in the multitude of counsel there is safety and another says a child left alone will come to ruin. A lot of men have been destroyed because they have chosen not to be accountable. There must be a system around you that checks your life and all you do and that is why...

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ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE - WHEN TO RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

FAMILY LIFE TODAY with PF

 

ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 19– RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

 

The best place to stop an intruder is at the gate and not when you have served him dinner inside your bedroom

One of my mentors once told me that there are two ways to kill a lion – either you engage it in a combat and kill it if you are lucky just that you may have a few scars if you are strong enough. But there is another way which is to avoid a lion because a lion will naturally die for lack of prey. 

Too many times accidental spouses show signs and other times they even have a huge bill board with warning signs. Unfortunately, the passengers never read the warning signs because they are too much in love to see.

Here are some warning signs that shows when to run;

  • When you are seeing someone, who tells you he/she doesn’t believe he/she has to be accountable to any human being and goes further to say he is only accountable to God – RUN
  • When he/she says marriage is...
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IS YOUR SPOUSE ACCOUNTABLE?

FAMILY LIFE TODAY with PF

ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 18– WHO ARE YOU ACCOUNTABLE TO?

“A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody.” 
― Thomas Paine

The fourth attribute of accidental spouse is  lack of accountability.

One consistent advice I have given to singles all through the years is never get married to a guy/lady who is not accountable or has got no mentor or someome he/she defers to because we are not built to be independent.

“Power corrupt and absolute power corrupt absolutely” this is why it is characteristic of military heads of states to run a tyrannical government because they have absolute powers. Everyone needs that one person in his/her life that can call him/her to order and the absence of that figure can spell doom for a man.

There must be someone in your life you respect enough to obey even when you are not sure of what he/she is saying. Unfortunately, lots of married...

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Help! My Marital beliefs is killing me

FAMILY LIFE TODAY with PF

 

ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 15 – THE TRAJECTORY OF ERROR?

I usually would play a game in most of my classes by asking my students to write down something they are so sure of. I’d then ask the class to troubleshoot the belief with them to be sure it was their personal discovery or if they ever studied or questioned it before they accepted it. In 7 out of every 10 they usually discover their beliefs were borrowed beliefs.

More shocking for almost all the participants is the realization that not one of them every took out time to study simple everyday concepts like;

  • Who is a man vs woman?
  • What does husband or wife mean?
  • What is heaven or hell?
  • Who is a father or mother?
  • What is parenting?
  • Why did God make man?
  • What is marriage?

As you read this you may want to ask yourself the same question and if you can be honest with yourself I will appreciate your feedback. Have you ever took out time independently to study any of the above concepts...

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ARE YOU CULTURALLY COMPATIBLE?

FAMILY LIFE TODAY with PF

ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 13 – CULTURAL COMPATIBILITY

The third important check you have to troubleshoot is the culture of your spouse which is basically powered by his/her beliefs. Unknown to many couples the beliefs they are often willing to die for are beliefs whose origin they have never examined and our unwillingness to shift from a belief that doesn’t promote the best interest of all eventually harms a marriage that could have been salvaged.

 When you hear the verse of the Bible that says ‘Don’t be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever’ what comes to your mind?

One gap we frequently miss from that verse is the word ‘Unbeliever’ which is an English word that means someone who doesn’t believe your beliefs. The person may not necessarily be a bad person, it just simply means the person is not the right fit for your beliefs and where you want to go. For example, if a man believes only his wife...

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ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 11 – SCRAMBLING YOUR PAIN

FAMILY LIFE TODAY with PF

 ACCIDENTAL SPOUSE – 11 – SCRAMBLING YOUR PAIN

 Too many times it becomes tough to unmask a spouse who is in pains because their physical manifestation either looks like a virtue that looks commendable while the person is actually dying inside. Sometimes pains may manifest in the following ways;

  • Getting involved in so many activities that makes the person really appear zealous and dependable
  • Giving oneself fully to a task that you never rest or relax. This may appear as being a workaholic but could be masking inner pain that is yet to be confronted
  • Seeking to correct everyone at all times once their wrong is spotted such that you look like the one who can make everything right
  • Inability to stand those who are too playful and consistently calling them to get very serious. Sometimes while on the surface this looks like you are trying to get people focused truth is that their play often reminds you of what life stole from you or what you...
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